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Drabble Dump - June Edition

All righty then! Four Evil Dead/Buffy humorous fics, loosely connected, and one rather serious Leverage fic. My muse is a flexible creature.



Evil Dead Trilogy/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ash/Buffy, "Good things, small packages, yadda yadda..."
Training Advice - Evil Dead/Buffy, Ash/Buffy, PG-13


(A continuation of their first meeting... because why waste such a freaking awesome premise?)

"Ok, wow, that kinda hurt." Ash pried himself out of the padded back wall, and lunged back across the floor before Buffy could get too self-congratulatory for her solid hit with stave. She almost squeaked as she dodged, Ash barely missing her, and then stopped and glared in indignation when she realized he'd missed her on purpose.

But he hadn't missed slipping a stake into the back pocket of her jeans.

Buffy took it out and flipped it in her hands, while Ash smirked.

"You're good, but need to keep it on the down low. Fake 'em out, make them careless, keep those dead brains from thinking at all." Ash took two steps over to the weapons' rack and pulled out a shovel. Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"You can beat me up from here until next Tuesday-." Ash swung the shovel in a deadly arc. "But you know the minute those deadites out there see you patrolling with a big stick, they're going to swarm you like flies on shit. And some of those guys are big. The demons? Even bigger."

Buffy took the hint and tossed the stave. "And what about that chainsaw thing you showed me? You're more proud of that than Xander would be with a B in Calculus."

"Big guns, sweetie. Special occasions only. Otherwise they'll lose that great 'what the hell?' expression on their ugly mugs. But you come at them all small and cute, and you'll take their heads off." Ash swung the shovel around and jerked his head to Buffy.

Three seconds later, Ash was prying himself out of the wall again, a big grin on his face.

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Good things, small packages, yadda, yadda, yadda..."

Buffy laughed as she pulled him back to his feet, her hand tiny in his.



Evil Dead Trilogy/Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Ash/Buffy, "It still looks dead to me."
Dance - Evil Dead/Buffy, Ash/Buffy, PG-13


"It still looks dead to me."

"'Course it does! It's just a lying sack of sh-."

The "corpse" lunged to its feet, and Buffy reacted quickly, slamming her stake down, turning the deadite to ash.

"So... deadites play dead?"

Ash coughed to get the dead dust out of his lungs. "Yeah, they're sneaky like that."

Buffy looked nervously over her shoulder at the other bodies in the morgue.

"Looks like we got our work cut out for us."

The sheeted corpses began to stir, moaning, and Ash pulled a shotgun from his bag and moved back-to-back with Buffy.

"Wanna dance?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at her.

Buffy grinned and flipped a second stake into her hand.

"Always."

"Groovy."

The deadites closed in around them, a tight ring of undead flesh.

The poor suckers didn't have a chance.



Evil Dead Trilogy/Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Ash/Buffy, "Stop smirking at me when you say 'whipped cream'."
Opportunistic - Evil Dead/Buffy, Ash/Buffy, PG-13


"We just gotta blind 'em, no big deal. They can't use those nasty eye rays if we cover them up," Ash said, back pressed to the kitchen wall, covering the door with his shotgun.

"Um..." Buffy took a quick second to check the cupboards, and grabbed something out of their depths, trying to hide a grin. "We have canned whipped cream!"

"Good, good, let's-," Ash brought himself to a halt as Buffy shook up two cans, riling up the demons, and pulled a Three Stooges-style whipped cream eyepoke on the first one stupid enough to charge the door.

Snorting, Ash stepped out to blast it into oblivion, and then stepped back to see Buffy licking a dollop of cream off the tip of one of the nozzles.

"I think whipped cream is my new favorite weapon," she said.

"Stop smirking at me when you say 'whipped cream'," Ash warned.

Buffy seemed to think about that for a second, and then jumped back through the doorway to blind an opportunistic demon. She leaned back into the kitchen in a casually lithe backbend, a bit of cream stuck to her nose.

"No," she said firmly. The demon roared in frustration as it blindly staggered around the room outside, and Buffy plucked the shotgun from Ash's temporarily-nerveless fingers to finish it off.

"Fine!" Ash grabbed the whipped cream from where she'd dropped it at her feet, and sent streamers of white froth into the faces of two more demons. "Two can play at this game!"

"Duh, that's the point," Buffy said, laughing outright as the she fired twice more.

Ash could feel the laughter deep in his chest as a shotgun blast as the fight got messier and messier, whipped cream and shell casings flying everywhere as the bodies stacked up.

Buffy always did know how to spice up date night.



Evil Dead Trilogy/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy/Ash, Their child's first word, is, thankfully, not 'groovy'.
Quick Learner - Evil Dead/Buffy, Ash/Buffy, PG


"Really?"

"Really."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Ash stared down at the crib for a long moment, and then grinned, slinging an arm around Buffy.

"I'm gonna have to get baby Sheila her own plush stake!"

Buffy giggled uncontrollably as their little dark-haired daughter banged her stuffed vampire doll against the slats.

"Dead! Dead! Dead!" She looked up at her parents proudly, as Ash and Buffy indulgently handed her a zombie doll to decapitate.

After all, she could never get started too early!



Leverage, Parker, They all have at least one deep, dark secret that no one should discover.
Delicate - Leverage, Parker, team, PG-13


It is said the best, most enduring long-term relationships are balanced on a delicate web of lies. That a good liar made the best partner. In many ways, that was entirely true.

Parker hadn’t known that old sword was so important. She hadn’t realized that some people still paid a very high price for failing their bosses. She wouldn’t have made it look like an inside job if she’d known that. She’d just thought they wouldn’t look for her. Now none of them ever could.

That was her secret, the one she didn’t tell anyone. Likewise, no one should ever have known what the rest of the team held secret. But someone else had to know, just one other person, otherwise those secrets could be used like hammers to smash apart Parker’s family. So she’d taken her time, and stolen the answers.

Eliot had never told the team what he'd done for Moreau. He never would; he'd rather die than let them know. They had no idea what kind of leverage a man like Moreau could bring to bear on someone, on how you'd find yourself crossing lines you promised yourself you never would. That family would never get their daughter back, and it was Eliot's fault that she had died that way.

Nate had tried to be an honest man, he really had, but there had been gaps of time in between utter despair where he knew he'd done something unforgivable. How could he pretend to be a good guy, when there was at least one thing in his past when he’d let every memory of goodness slip away? When he could have spoken up, and hadn’t, just so someone else could feel his pain.

Hardison knew how strongly some people relied on technology. Hell, that was how he planned some of his hacks, making people scramble to pay attention somewhere else so he could get what he wanted. He’d enjoyed playing with that kind of power, making people struggle to get back-up systems in place as he looked their databases to his heart’s content. Then he’d underestimated someone’s speed by thirty seconds, they hadn’t gotten the generators running in time, and by the time the main power to the exhaust fans was restored, it had been too late. The resulting explosion had ripped through the entire plant. That wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part was it took him three days before he started having nightmares.

It was the nature of Sophie’s job that she left a lot of discarded people in her wake. If she’d done her job properly, they’d never suspect anything odd about her. If she’d been careless, they would come after her. But if she’d done her job too well, they might think they were in love with her. Love was more dangerous than suspicion, and far harder to get rid of. She’d been forced to break his heart. Four times. That was how long it took him to realize she simply didn’t want him around. The problem, though, had been when she realized she’d enjoyed the challenge of finding a different way to hurt him each time.

It took a delicate blend of talent to do what Leverage, Inc. did. All of it carefully balanced on knowing what you needed to, revealing what you must, and not illuminating the dark places in each other’s hearts.

Parker would keep all of those places hidden, safe and secure as only she could knew how.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
rise_your_dead
Jul. 7th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
Gah, I adore the Buffy/Ash fics you wrote for me SO much <3
jaune_chat
Jul. 8th, 2011 12:27 am (UTC)
They were so much fun to write, seriously! :D
rise_your_dead
Jul. 13th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
Hee, If you ever draw any further inspiration from my prompts, I'd love anything else you come up with.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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