jaune_chat (jaune_chat) wrote,

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Heroes Commentary 3x16: Building 26

THIS is the show I fell in love with!



Bennet family breakfast, now with extra awkwardness. It’s a part of this balanced neuroses! LYLE LIVES! Awsome! And there’s waffles! And Mr. Muggles! Bitchin’!


Noah is calling himself a consultant. Damn, Bennet family, you should know better. “Consultant” is what you call your job when you don’t want anyone to know what you do. Paper salesman = specific job with specific duties that can stand up to scrutiny. Consultant = whatever the hell I want it to mean.  


Ooo, Claire won’t stick to the script and Noah is about to crap his pants. Sandra is suspicious and Noah knows he’s too tall to sleep on the couch.


So, time for more father/daughter circular arguements. Noah lays down the law that Claire will go to community college, study Spanish, do her homework, and like it. Claire’s bitchface has just gone to plaid.


Damn good thing that Rebel has arrived to deliver her from #2 pencils by throwing a blonde cheerleader into a haven of male geekdom. Unfortunately, Claire hasn’t improved the specificity of her warnings since New York. Love how when Skeptical Alex is all, “What, you're supposed to pop out of a cake?” she looks around for something to hurt herself. Now if she’d REALLY wanted to get his attention, she should have used the pointiest action figure she could lay her hands on to stab herself. Eternal geek devotion has been earned for less!


BWAH! Love how Noah pulls a Winchester on Alex. “I’m from the County Clerk’s office. I don’t suppose you’ve been smelling any sulfur, er, I mean, about these unpaid parking tickets…”


Hmm, Claire shamelessly uses family ties to screw up the operation again. Hey, it’s just like nearly every other plan Claire’s been peripherally involved with! Damn good thing Alex takes the initiative to down the towering HRG with only a wire rack full of light comic books. Apparently HRG without his glasses is like Sampson without his locks. See the last scene in the episode for further evidence. 


Danko insults Nathan’s manhood with the latte crack. Nathan takes it back with the assertion that manly Italian men drink double espresso, thank you very much.


Fan service in this episode provided by Adrian Pasdar in a vest and a VERY well-cut pair of trousers. Mr. Pasdar, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cite you for having an ass that’s illegal in sixteen states. Seriously, it’s distracting. 


Love Tracy in the hallway. She’s very much – “This is fuckery. We all know this is fuckery. Every damn person in this building knows it’s fuckery except my supposed friend Abby Collins who wouldn’t even get me so much as a damn drink of water when she saw me CHAINED to the FLOOR! Fuck all of you; every single person on this goddamned planet can go swallow a knife. I haven’t had an apple martini in days, and I am one cranky woman. And this guy, this guy right here? He’s kibble. Screw you, world.”


I would have loved to see what Danko would have done if, say, they’d had fish-boy Alex in custody instead of Tracy. Damn good thing the one person they had was an angry, amoral, bitch-queen with nothing to lose who just happens to have a particularly lethal power. What the hell would Danko have done to convince Abby Collins, DHS, that Alex was dangerous? Have him breathe through a pool of blood? You are so lucky, Mr. Special Guest Star.


Was anyone else taking bets as to when Sylar would kill Luke? The odds were a hundred to one in favor of the end of this episode when Luke got ditched. I ended up owing my cat a hundred fish treats.


Wow, “Born to be Wild” on the radio, and mentions of diners and pie. It’s official; the Heroes writers have been watching Supernatural.


I was wondering when Luke would get more annoying, and we didn’t have to wait. He just Won’t. Shut. His. Goddamned. Mouth. Sylar tries to scare him with his serial killer shit, but that just makes Luke all tingly. And Sylar REALLY doesn’t like being labeled, “Ok, so technically I’m a serial killer.” Priceless. 


Tender sharing moment between master and apprentice in the car. Bird-watching? Ok.  Lovely shared moment. Glad it didn’t last too long. Moving on, quickly!


Loved how Sylar rapped Luke’s knuckles with a ruler when he insisted on acting like a five-year-old. Blowing up milk? Seriously? I would have killed you for that offense alone.  


Sylar Says – Always have a goal. Then proceeds to list the lamest goal set ever: 

  1. Get powers.
  2. Find his dad.
  3. ???
  4. Profit!


Ok, the commando has a gun at Sylar’s “sweet spot” (simmer down there, brain) and then wastes time gloating instead of shooting. Thusly allowing Luke to use his other power of super-whining as a distraction and letting bullets fly hither and yon.


Sylar – “You egregious little shit, you made me get blood on my shirt and holes in my jacket. Screw you Scrappy Doo.” Luke’s expression when he gets locked out of the car is priceless, “But, but, you said we’d always be together!”


Oh no, but Sylar is back, because no one gets to gnaw on his shiny new squeaky chew toy but him. And he appreciates an audience. And he needed a new laptop.  And those commandos annoyed him. And he got to wear commando gear and that was… smokin’ hot!


The Hiro and Ando show, Bollywood edition! Apparently freezing all the refugees’ credit cards and bank accounts didn’t work on the Nakamura fortune, because they were able to fly to India, no problem. And no passport issues either, despite the fact that Hiro is a wanted man. Or maybe they’re using Ando’s money; he’s not on the list, and Hiro DID have him at a much better pay grade this season.


As a quick point, I know from the drawings that it seems that Mohinder and Matt are going to become gun-runners or something, but it’s a damn good thing that Hiro and Ando didn’t, you know, need someone who’s actually FROM India to help them out. And that everyone they meet speaks excellent English.


So the whole point of saving Apunta from an unhappy marriage was so Hiro could learn to be a hero without his powers? Didn’t he spend half of S1 and part of S2 doing that already? 


Hmm, did they just redress Charlie’s diner from S1 for the Indian bakery? 


Wait, so knocking out random friendly strangers and kidnapping them is the best way to get your bride to marry you? And pulling a “sour grapes” scenario will make a dangerous, powerful, possessive man just give up everything? Did this whole scenario seem as ridiculous, contrived, and random to anyone else as it did to me? The two best things in this section were Ando being Ando and Hiro with a baby sword. Cute!


Now they have to save Matt Parkman… for some reason. And go hop on another plane and fly halfway around the world to do it. Damn good thing they’re both flush with cash…


May I just say that Sandra’s hair looks fabulous this episode? It even looks fabulous when Claire lifts up the veil that Sandra’s been stubbornly living under. Oh, burn. Poor HRG – “Indian food?” Then Sandra drops a train on him. It’s not pretty, and he does deserve it, every word. Both Sandra and Noah are right, but Noah’s been breaking promises for far too long. 


Then, oh God, the farewell scene. I want to be furious at Noah for dealing behind his family’s back for the fourth time in four volumes, but I can’t. Not when he’s finally paying the piper and being all sincere and crying and saying “Claire-bear” and I practically started bawling during this scene. I want to give him a hug and tell him everything will work out, but I know it won’t ever be the same again. This is the one time I’ve seen him really vulnerable and he’s breaking my heart!


 Ooo, Claire has a man sleeping in her closet. Writers, start your shipping! Seriously, whenever there are two (or more) characters on the screen together, I start shipping. It saves time.


And then Noah’s all alone and drinking in a hotel bar and – is it bad that I both want to reconcile him with his family and have him have a hot one-night stand or three? Luckily the writers were listening. Mohinder slips Noah a mickey, and Matt and Peter help take Noah back to their dungeon secret rebel base on Dantooine. Dude, some great fanfics start this way.


Next week, all HRG, all the time! I’ll be there, front row seat, with popcorn!



Tags: commentary, heroes_meta

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